Protest and Rally – SHATTER THE SILENCE

shatter the silence


Dear Palm Beach County Community:

I have had several requests to start a rally and protest. Because I am in North Carolina, I have several friends who are willing to act on my behalf. If you are interested in joining the fight, in having your voice heard and demanding ANSWERS, please leave a comment on this page and be sure to include your email address. Someone will be in contact with you very shortly to start organizing and planning for an event to be held somewhere in YOUR community. Parents and students of Palm Springs Community Middle School, formerly Jefferson Davis, I urge you to stand up for your children. NOW is the time.

> > Due to FCATS, which are being held next week, we are asking that everyone please put off any protest or rally until after FCATS are over. We believe that your children’s education comes first.  As a parent myself, I understand the importance of such tests and wish all the kids good luck.

Feel free to email us at: silenceshatter@gmail.com

enough sexual abuse

17 thoughts on “Protest and Rally – SHATTER THE SILENCE

  1. Rachel Mallino says:

    It is time for the PSMS Community to stand up for the children. The hundreds of responses I received regarding Clare’s misbehavior in the classroom is atrocious. It is time to stand up.

  2. Leticia says:

    I’m in!

  3. Leticia says:

    Fellow students of Jefferson Davis let your voice be heard on how horrible this women was to us as students! This also goes for all other students or people who have suffered in the hands of this women!

  4. cnairn31 says:

    I am so down pls keep me posted!!!

  5. mariasotelo561 says:

    COUNT ME IN!

  6. Lacy says:

    While I can applaud her bravery for coming forth with her story I have to question why she waited so many years to do it, especially since she seems so set on outing her now to the public and so concerned about the emails from past students. Don’t you think if she had done this many years ago it would have spared the students who have had her as a teacher in the past 20 years or anyone else she may have had an inappropriate relationship with since then?? I fully understand that people who have suffered any kind of abuse such as what she went through need time to heal and be able to share their story, but I’ve also read where she said the justice system fails adult victims like her but I have to wonder how that applies here and whether she ever tried to take any action against her mother before now and if so what and why wasn’t anything done. Sure, it is a hard story to prove now that she is an adult, but back then?? If she was seeing therapists from the age of 13 who took her to the visits? Her pedophile mother? Did she disclose any of what was really going on in her life with her therapist and if so why didn’t they take any action against this woman who was allowed access to different children year after year being a teacher. I don’t know how as a mother herself, she could have slept peacefully all these years knowing that someone like that got off scott-free and could be repeating the same stomach wrenching story all over again with her new son. I admit I was beyond disgusted when I read her story, and I too had her for 7th grade English and have negative memories of her class, but unlike everybody who was quick to share the story all over the place I was uneasy at the thought of it, and I question the motives behind why her daughter felt the need all of a sudden to out her 59 year old mother in the manner that she did….unless she is as she said just seeking her own form of justice now. I’m sure her mother was pretty close to retiring and this is her karma for what she put her through all of those years. I just feel like something should have been done way before now. Like when she moved away with her dad at the age of 15 why weren’t charges filed way back then?? If anyone knows more than I do about all of it I would love to know, Rachel seems to be on top of replying to comments people have made concerning her story. I’m sure I’m not the only one who would like to know more details and she is pretty much obliged to answer after posting something of that nature. I am not in any way against Rachel I would just like to know more details before I share.

    • Rachel Mallino says:

      Hello Lacy,
      I’m going to do my best to answer your questions, one by one. I have put your statements in quotation marks. My replies are indicated with ~

      “I have to question why she waited so many years to do it, especially since she seems so set on outing her now to the public and so concerned about the emails from past students.”

      ~ I’m not sure how familiar you are with child abuse and furthermore, sexual child abuse. As you can see, my story is not “typical”. I was never “touched”. I was forced, for two years, to watch my mother have sex in cheap motel rooms. It wasn’t until I saw an amazing therapist in Boca Raton (at the age of 24) , the first to whom I actually admitted the abuse, who explained to me that this was “sexual abuse”. With regards to those who have suffered childhood sexual abuse, there is a lot of shame surrounding the instances. With myself, and I know with others who have experienced sexual abuse, one feels as if they were a “willing participant”. It sounds very strange, but that is the type of warped damage sexual abuse inflicts upon its victims. I was ashamed and embarrassed for years. My life has been filled with chronic depression and debilitating anxiety. My goal, during those years, was to simply “survive”. I have been in therapy for years, and even spent a four month stint last year at the National Institute for Mental Health, with the hopes that may find a way to help me heal and overcome my chronic PTSD and Depression. It has taken me this long to finally feel comfortable with my story and being able to share, not only with professionals, but with family, friends, and now the world.

      ~ As for emails from past students, I simply offered them a platform because I had received so many comments and emails on facebook from former and current students and parents, that I felt I was doing a good deed to these children by offering them a platform. Especially since the administration at PSMS seemed to have consistently failed them. I had no other MO. In fact, my story is not about my mother “the teacher”, my story is about my mother “the child abuser” and my search for acknowledgment, healing, closure, and my own form of justice.

      “If she was seeing therapists from the age of 13 who took her to the visits? Her pedophile mother? Did she disclose any of what was really going on in her life with her therapist and if so why didn’t they take any action against this woman who was allowed access to different children year after year being a teacher.”

      ~ Yes, my pedophilic mother did. It seems like you are implying “why” – so I will answer. My mother took me to see a therapist at 13 because, and this is extremely embarrassing to admit, I was hiding blood stained panties under my mattresses. My mother used to scream and back-hand me, when I was menstruating, if I got blood on my panties by accident. In order to avoid her terror, I hid them beneath my mattress and she, of course, found them. That is when she decided to take me to a therapist. During those sessions, I barely spoke of anything due to the fear of my mother finding out that I had “told on her”. My mother was always invited into our sessions during the last 15 minutes in order to “review” what was talked about. I’m sure you can see why I never uttered a word, as I was extremely fearful of the consequences of her finding out that I had spoken up. It would have resulted in a severe beating, of her choice . That includes punching me in the face, back-handing me, being strangled, whipped with a wooden salad spoon or forced to sit on my knees in a corner for hours. And, as an aside – this same therapist requested that my mother start seeing her separately, at which point, my mother took me out of therapy.

      “I don’t know how as a mother herself, she could have slept peacefully all these years knowing that someone like that got off scott-free and could be repeating the same stomach wrenching story all over again with her new son.”

      ~ Not only did I not sleep peacefully, I slept barely at all. I had and still have severe insomnia. I tried reaching out to my brother four years ago via facebook. I received a response that was very upsetting, accusing me of “being crazy” and “my mother was right about you”. I checked myself into a psychiatric hospital that same night because I was so destroyed by the response. I later found out, from my brother, that Clare had intercepted that communication and it was in fact her, who responded to me. Since then, I have reached out to him and told him that my door is ALWAYS open to him in case he needs a place to run.

      “I question the motives behind why her daughter felt the need all of a sudden to out her 59 year old mother in the manner that she did….unless she is as she said just seeking her own form of justice now.”

      ~ My motives are exactly as I’ve outlined in my blog. This is my form of justice. The legal system makes it near impossible for adult children of child abusers to seek legal recourse. While it may be difficult for you to understand, but it has taken me 20 years to finally be able to speak openly about what happened to me and I felt it was time to let the world know who this woman really is. She somehow evades prosecution at every turn, including the domestic battery charge in 2000.

      “I just feel like something should have been done way before now. Like when she moved away with her dad at the age of 15 why weren’t charges filed way back then??”

      ~ I’m sorry that my healing process does not fit within your expected time-frame. When I moved with my father at 15, I had never met him before in my life. I was introduced to him in the airport! Again, I was ashamed and thought that I was somehow an accomplice to her sexual exploits, when in fact, I was a victim.
      I am also a busy mother – and a good one at that. If there is one thing I’ve done right in my life, it has been to raise an amazing young woman. And I take full credit. =)

      I feel I’ve answered your questions and more. I invite intelligent discourse, but I want everyone to know – I wrote this blog for ME. This is MY story. If, in the process, I can help others, I am going to do so and plan on doing so. But as for my story, it is mine and mine alone. I have received, literally, hundreds of emails from people who have suffered childhood abuse and I’ve answered almost every single one of them. My plan is to rally support for adult children of sexual child abusers in order to seek legal recourse against their perpetrators. I’m currently encouraging all parents and students to please make their own voices heard by contacting their school administration and school board. But I intend to continue to offer them a platform on my blog for such organizing.

      This is going to be the last time I “defend” my actions to anyone. I suggest that those who are unaware of PTSD, especially Complex PTSD to please do some research.

      • Lacy says:

        I appreciate your responses, that clears a lot up. I really do think it’s great that you are able to openly talk about it now and are taking a stand to help others. I don’t want you to feel you were defending your actions but you did choose to make it public and since I did go to school there and have grown up here, my newsfeed has been flooded with friends of mine sharing your story since you posted it and while I haven’t stopped thinking about it since I first saw it, it wasn’t until it was shared on my own wall today that I wanted to know more about it. I think in the world we live in today where everyone believes everything they read on the internet and is quick to just hit the share or like button without knowing all of the facts it is okay to do a little more research into things. (I mean just for a second stop and think about how easily lives are ruined over people spreading lies about people on the internet & I would not want to be a part of that). Anyways, my heart does go out for you and I’m sure you are an amazing mother because you learned exactly what not to be like! It seems you have fought a long hard battle and I think you are very brave for sharing your story with the world and wanting to help other people in similar situations and hopefully justice will be served and she will get what she deserves it sucks that it is so LONG OVERDUE she shouldn’t have been able to enjoy freedom as long as she has. Thank you and good luck with everything!

      • Felicia says:

        I am a former student of Clare hreschak, I just want to say she was a horrible, miserable b****! She is a great actor especially when someone is evaluating her class; this was the only time she actually taught us anything! I dont understand how I even passed her class with a “C” when all of my test in her class were F’s. My brother had her too and felt the same way. But I was only like 13 so I didnt care too much then. But I would always wonder why she was so evil… til this day my brother and I make fun of her… and think about how her class was a living nightmare everyday. She never smiled and when I would ask for help with classwork, raising my hand was never an option. If I raised my hand I would be there until the class ended and still she was motionless with her eyes on her computer. If I would go up to her desk she would snap, “What do you want?!” as if I was inconviencing her. I couldn’t stand the lady. I was also in intensive reading classes and I would cry to my other teacher about her but nothing was accomplished by that… her class felt like a dark cloud was over it at all times… lights were half on half off, blinds her shout, door closed, and students were forbided to talk. It was depressing! I always wondered if she had any children of her own because I couldn’t imagine how she treated them. Well know I know and I am so sorry you had to have her as a mother! I’m glad you are doing this and spreading the word! I dont know how she sleeps at night! I hope things get better for you! and know I will 100% support this! God Bless you!

      • Lacy, I can fully understand your questions and concerns. Your two comments raise some valid points. As you said:

        “I think in the world we live in today where everyone believes everything they read on the internet and is quick to just hit the share or like button without knowing all of the facts it is okay to do a little more research into things. (I mean just for a second stop and think about how easily lives are ruined over people spreading lies about people on the internet & I would not want to be a part of that).”

        Yes, absolutely, I’m in complete agreement with you there.

        I also completely “get” why it has taken Rachel this long to tell her story publicly. Actually, I am amazed that she has the inner strength and courage to do this at her relatively young age! Like Rachel, I have been diagnosed with chronic and severe PTSD. My heroic husband also has chronic PTSD. His was caused by two combat tours in Vietnam, which took place when he was a very young Marine in the late 1960s through the early 1970s. My complex PTSD stems from multiple and severe childhood traumas and abuses, perpetrated by both of my parents. Although my loving husband is now on 100% VA disability, he has told me that, in his opinion, my complex PTSD has left me far more dysfunctional than his combat PTSD has caused him to be. As he said: it’s hell when you are barely an adult, and strangers are trying to kill you. But when you are a young child, and your own mother and/or father are threatening or trying to murder you, it’s worse than hell.

        The truth in Rachel’s story immediately resonated with me, because my childhood experiences were equally horrific. The details are different, of course, but the level of abuse and insanity is the same.

        My abusive father, who was diagnosed with both schizophrenia and multiple personality disorder, has been dead for over 25 years, and my even more abusive, undiagnosed mother is now in her late 70s. I am lucky that I don’t really look it, but I am older than Rachel’s mother. Yet I have only recently found the strength and courage to begin speaking, and writing, about my childhood abuse.

        A couple of years ago, shortly after I started blogging under an anonymous pen name about my child abuse, I was devastated when a couple of my much-younger siblings, and two brainwashed young nieces who do not even know me, responded by writing some deeply hurtful things to and about me on facebook, saying things similar to the message that Rachel thought her young brother had written to her on facebook – only in her case, it turned out to be their mother who had intercepted Rachel’s message to her brother, and had written that soul-killing reply. (My siblings, who are all much younger than me, grew up when our mother was married to my kind, enabling stepfather, who had a very stabilizing influence on our mother. So my siblings had a very different childhood than I did, which is great for them – but it leaves me looking like a liar in their minds. God knows I WISH my version of my childhood were not true! But, just because it didn’t happen to them, that does not mean it didn’t happen to me.)

        After I read those Hate-Lynda messages in my newsfeed on facebook, I was so crushed, that I ended my FB account for more than a year, and eventually took my blog down, even though I had not written anything in it that was not the truth, and I had changed all the names, including mine.

        My point is that going public with this kind of thing is HARD. It may not be siblings or nieces, but with all the hateful and ignorant people who troll the internet, it doesn’t matter what you put out there, you are going to get some kind of hateful backlash. “Normal” people may be able to let that sort of thing just roll off their backs. But people like us, with parents like ours, who have verbally, physically, and emotionally abused us from our earliest memories – hateful people are HARD to deal with.

        Like Rachel, I have severe, ongoing depression and insomnia. There are many days when I am far too anxious, depressed, and much too exhausted from lack of sleep, to even get out of bed. Some days it’s all I can do just to brush my teeth, and I really HATE the feeling of scummy teeth, yuck. So when ordinary daily life is much too difficult to manage – how in the world do you take on the world, so to speak, as Rachel is now doing? Truly, I am in awe of Rachel Mallino!

        Early, ongoing, severe childhood trauma has a profoundly negative effect on a young child’s developing brain and psyche. Three great books I’ve read that do an excellent job of explaining this are: 1.) Trauma and Recovery, by Harvard Psychiatrist Judith Lewis Herman, M.D. (Dr. Herman coined the term “Complex PTSD” in her landmark book), 2.) Toxic Parents, by Susan Forward, Ph.D., and 3.) The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment, by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert M. Pressman. (This last book is written by therapists, for therapists, and is priced accordingly. But it’s worth every penny, and is very easy to understand, even for the lay person.)

        Dr. Forward’s best-selling Toxic Parents, has a chapter that does an excellent job of explaining the peculiarly long-lasting, extremely damaging effects of childhood incestuous sexual abuse.

        You can also find some good information on the internet regarding complex PTSD, but a lot of the misinformation out there is bad and hurtful. Some people, including some therapists, mistakenly believe that complex PTSD is a combination of PTSD, along with a Cluster B personality disorder, such as Borderline. But according to Dr. Herman who, as I said, initially coined the term, complex PTSD is NOT a personality disorder. Dr. Herman states in her book that many people who suffer from complex PTSD are often misdiagnosed with Borderline, which is not only inaccurate, it is very hurtful. Basically, from the sounds of it, Rachel’s mother may have Borderline… although I am a layperson, and I have never met her, so I am certainly in no position to officially diagnose anyone. I believe my own mother, who tried to gas our whole family to death when I was 12, is probably Borderline, but again, I cannot diagnose.

        My own PTSD was diagnosed ten years ago this month, by Paul Meier, MD, author/co-author of over 80 books, many of which were bestsellers, and the founder of a nationwide chain of renowned psychiatric clinics. He diagnosed my PTSD only after I had taken a full battery of psychological tests, along with some physical tests. Dr. Meier said that I most definitely do NOT have a personality disorder, and he also said that he was frankly amazed that I don’t, considering the severity of my childhood trauma.

        I believe that most people, most of the time, are doing the best they can with what they have. I love this quote from the renowned poet and activist Maya Anglou: “You did what you knew how to do, and when you knew better, you did better.”

        But some people are so abusively, diabolically evil…. I don’t know what to think. It’s like they aren’t fully human. They may not be able to help being the way they are, and, if so, that is very sad for them – but not nearly as sad as allowing them free reign over defenseless children.

        Lynda

      • Rachel Mallino says:

        Lynda,

        I would love dedicate a full page just to this type of discourse – the “diagnosis” topic. While I had my four month stint at NIMH, I was pretty close to a doctor there who sat on the DSM committee and we had long conversations regarding the new version of the DSM. While at NIMH, I was given several diagnoses – one of them being “borderline SPECTRUM” – this means, for those who don’t know, I do not have borderline personality disorder, however – I show some symptoms. I can not tell you how hurt I was. There are several reasons why this diagnosis is simply flat out wrong and why I am a huge champion that the “complex ptsd” diagnosis be included in the DSM. With regards to “borderline personality disorder”, TRAUMA is not a definite PRECURSOR to the “borderline” diagnosis. Given, many people with borderline do have some trauma precursors, but NOT ALL. With regards to Complex PTSD and PTSD, for that matter, TRAUMA is the absolute precursor. If the trauma did not occur, I would not have PTSD. I was not born with PTSD, I was traumatized and left with a brain injury. Therefore, that brain injury causes me to behave in certain ways. When I was told that they were going to include “borderline spectrum” to my other diagnoses, I felt as if I had been retraumatized. The psychiatric community (at least those who sit on the DSM committee) seem to have a very difficult time getting a handle on what severe childhood abuse and trauma does to the brain, and how to diagnose it properly. Although, for me, it is quite clear – Judith Herman!!! Anyway, I’m going to stop now because I could go on forever regarding this topic. But, the doctor with whom I had these many conversations, in essence, could not give me a definitive answer as to WHY the committee would label us “borderline spectrum” when trauma is not a definite precursor. That, to me, is where this diagnosis fails epically.

  7. Tiffany says:

    You know I’m in!! I love you!

  8. Luis Garcia says:

    I’m on the ground in Palm Beach County…Please call me at 5615030108 when wer are organizing a LIVE walk…If people put there money where there mouth is : this will happen…We have almost 600 people in the group I founded 3 years ago on FB..Some are in Palm Beach..I will post this on my wall (which is 100% public ) and in our private group page…. Peace Out….Luis Garcia https://www.facebook.com/groups/162959517139059/

  9. rebecca says:

    You are a brave woman to speak out. Your words will help so many others with courage to come forward also. God Bless you and your healing process.

  10. Melissa Agnolucci says:

    I’m Rachel’s cousin I’d love to be involved in anything you guys are putting together please please please contact me with any information regarding the rally / protest missy2thmaxx@aol.com

  11. Maria C says:

    Im in!!!

  12. Anna Pegg says:

    I’m in!

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